Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Things I Miss.

Let me clarify one thing before launching into this blogpost. I LOVE being here. Love, love, love. I love the city that I am living in, I love the people I have met and spend my days with, I love my students with all my heart, I love being in Honduras. I wouldn't trade this experience and opportunity for anything. There is not any part of me that regrets being here.

That being said, there are a lot of things at home that I really, really miss. I miss events, milestones, people. Things aren't the same at home as they are when I left them, but at the same time, I am not the same person I was when I left home.

I've been feeling a tad bit homesick since being here in Honduras. Not homesick as in "Get me on the next plane, I want to get out of here." But more along the lines of "Put everyone I love on a plane and get them down here." I miss the people who have been a part of my life for so long.

It's also the fact that every August since 1995, I have packed up my back pack, laid out my clothes, and entered a classroom on the first day as a student. But now, in August of 2012, I wasn't returning to a classroom of my friends, but rather walking into a classroom where I was the one in charge. It's been a lot of changes these past few months (getting home from Rio, graduation, getting a job, moving down here, etc, etc) and it's kind of hitting me all at once.

I love having pictures of my friends and family on my walls, but sometimes it almost makes it worse. Sometimes if I can put everything out of my mind and just focus on the here and now, things don't seem as sad. But then other times, the pictures make me feel better. All that to say that the pictures are indeed staying. I spent far too long hanging them up one day to take them down during a bout of homesickness.

One of my friends turned 21 today which also contributed to my sadness because I couldn't be there for it. Thank goodness for the 21st century and technology; I was able to order him a drink via FaceTime. Awesome, but it's not the same as actully being there.

I think that's my biggest struggle. One of the things most precious to me is quality time spent with people and being present in their life. Got a game coming up? I'll be there. Birthday? Count me in. Need to go grocery shopping? I'm tagging along. Because I like to spend time with the people who mean the most to me. I feel like I'm not doing that/ unable to do that here and that's really tough for me to deal with.

In other news...

My kids are wonderful. Wild and all sorts of rambuctious, yet so much fun. It's going to be a bit of a struggle getting back into the groove of being in school again and being a "real" teacher, but I think it's going to be a really great year. Not without it's challenges of course, but overall, a wonderful time.

My students are not short on love. The second they walk through the door, they're hugging me. They're constantly wanting to spend time with me at recess. Remember, they're only in second grade, so the teacher is still cool. Which is fine by me. I've felt over-whelmed with beginning of school shenanigans this week, but my students are right there with a giant hug and a smile. That makes everything so much more bearable.

It hit me today that I'm a missionary. Which is not something that I EVER thought that I would be. And I still don't really feel like one. I mean, I take scalding hot showers, have electricity, and don't eat weird things. But here I am, missionary-ing.

Anddddd, I cashed my first paycheck today. My first not part-time/summer job check. Weird. But awesome.


  1. Cait,
    I miss you dearly! I love reading about your adventures and hearing about your new experiences in Honduras. Keep us all posted as always and know we all love you back in Ohio :D

  2. I just discovered your blog and I CANNOT wait to follow your journey! I'm in school to be a teacher and I hope to teach overseas one day as well. I'm thankful that you're in Honduras with such a special group of kids. :)

  3. Hang in there Caitlin. I miss you around here, but I know you are right where God wants you. You will be fine. I do look forward to coming to Honduras in 2013 to see where everything newly dear to you is...and to meet everyone! Here for you always. Love you, Dad