Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Make A Plan. Live The Plan.

"Here's what I really believe. You can create a plan for your life, and then maybe crazy things get thrown at you. And that, by the way, is the closest thing that I have to a plan. So maybe it's crazy to talk about being an intergalactic truck driver, but what I think is crazier is trying to plan every single detail of our future."
-- the accidental wisdom of Nick Miller
New Girl, Season 3 Episode 20

I've learned a lot about others, and myself, since living abroad. I've learned new languages and met new people. I've tried new foods and experienced new places.  I've learned how to make the most out of airline weight limits and I've stupidly fumbled around countless airports trying to find a water fountain that worked.

Regardless of what country I've found myself in, people are constantly asking me what is coming next. Where I'll be living, where I'll be moving, how long I'm staying. I find MYSELF asking these questions.

And honestly, I don't even know.

I used to feel ashamed in not knowing. I used to feel ashamed in not having a plan for my life. I used to feel ashamed in not living like a "real adult." I used to feel ashamed in living my life year to year as opposed to committing to a city.

Each morning I try to make the conscious decision to not be ashamed any more. Each morning I try to remind myself that there is nothing wrong with living the way that I am living.

I never planned to live in Honduras, I never planned to move to Rio. But I did and I am. And I might not have anything planned further in the future than my lesson tomorrow morning, but things have always had a way of working out. 

What I am doing, how I am living, might not be the most conventional way. But I'm tired of fretting about it. I'm tired of worrying about what other people might think. I'm tired of making plans just to have them be ruined. And I'm tired of worrying that my time is running out.

Like Nick Miller says, the closet thing I have to a plan is to have no plan at all. And I'm finally okay with that.

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