I honestly don't know.
To me, each one of these places is home. Each one of these places holds a very real piece of my heart. Without each one of these places, I wouldn't be the person who I am today. Longevity has nothing to do with it-- I spent 18 years in Chardon and only 3 months in Brazil.
Every day my heart longs to be home. To be in Chardon, to be in Ashland, to be in Rio, to be in Sigua. Every day I feel like a piece of me is missing. Like I'm not completely whole. The unfortunate truth is that since my heart has made it's home in so many places, it never feels whole.
Going home is always a tricky blend of happiness and heartache. Joy to be seeing the people that have always meant the world to me (and joy to be eating Taco Bell again, if I'm being completely honest), but sadness to be leaving the people who have become regulars in my daily life.
While I don't particularly love always feeling like a piece of my heart is missing, I cannot help but know that this means I have been more abundantly blessed than I could have ever believed possible. I've loved people in many places, I have so many people and places that are hard to say good-bye to. And for that, I am grateful.
I'm going home tomorrow. While doing so, I'm leaving another home behind, but I'm coming home tomorrow.
Well said, Caitlin...well said. Can't wait for you to come home to Chardon. And yes, we'll go to Taco Bell. =)
ReplyDeleteLove,
Dad
The problem is that you’re trying to choose a location to be your home. You have left part of your heart in so many places, there is no way to pick one location to be your “home.” We all know the saying “Home is where the heart is,” but if your heart is with Christ, there is only one “location” that is ever going to feel like home—that is where you will get all those pieces back to have your whole heart again. We were made to give our heart out to others, so don’t stress about picking a location, and don’t try to guard your heart from losing more pieces either. Not many people get to give their heart to so many places, so rejoice in everywhere that has taken a piece, and continue to give it out until the day you truly go home.
ReplyDelete