To Have Another Language Is To Possess A Second Soul.

Listen. Learning languages is tough. Like, sometimes I kind of want to roll over and die because my brain is a constant jumble of words in English and Portuguese and Spanish and because 99% of my time speaking Portuguese is spent focusing way too freaking hard on making sounds that I cannot physically make.

Grammar and sentence structure is similar in Portuguese and Spanish which is a huge help, and a large handful of vocabulary is similar. But that's where the similarities stop. Don't let anyone fool you into believing that if you know Spanish, you'll be able to fully understand Portuguese. It's a flat out lie. Especially here in Rio where the accent is INCREDIBLY different from Spanish.

Between English and Spanish and Portuguese, I feel like brain is constantly "ON". And, honestly, not making a ton of sense of anything. I'm exhausted ALL the time. And while I can blame part of that on late night reading in bed, a lot of it is due to always trying to listen and understand and translate and think of a response and translate and repeat. Conversations take a LONG time. 

All day, every day.

Not only am I constantly having to really work at having conversations, but the world around me is in Portuguese. Leaving my house means coming in contact with Portuguese. Going shopping (especially trying on clothes)? Better believe I have to talk to someone in Portuguese. Dinner and drinks after a week at school? Good luck ordering that food if you don't speak Portuguese. Want to get your haircut? Want to get your nails done? Think if its actually worth the time and effort. I am fully capable of doing those things (and doing them well!) in English and Spanish, but literally every single this is more difficult here because I don't speak the language. 

My brain is constantly on. Constantly. And it's tired.

In order to give my tired brain a break, I decided to start taking Portuguese lessons. Which, honestly, is something that I should have done a long time ago. But I didn't and here we are now. I've officially had three classes and am really good at saying things like "calma, relaxe, sem estresse" (calm down, relax, without stress). It's obviously a process, I'm not going to be fluent in just three lessons. Eventually it'll get easier and my brain can relaxe.

I must say, that even after only two lessons, it was awesome to go out to dinner and have a "conversation" with the waiter. The waiter who unknowingly followed the exact script that we learned during my first lesson. Thank you, friendly waiter.

By conversation, I mean the following:

"Boa noite. Meu nome é Antonio. É o seu?"

"Meu nome é Caitlin. Muito prazer."

"Igualmente."

And then I reverted to pointing at then menu to ask for what I wanted to eat. In my defense, it was really freaking loud in the restaurant and I was seated far away from where he was standing to take my order. Baby steps, ladies and gentlemen.

Also, this is how I feel 100% of the time when talking to people who say that I should be fluent in Portuguese because I speak Spanish. Preach it, Batman.

Honduras is Great.

This past Tuesday, September 15, was Independence Day in Honduras. As I wasn't able to be in Honduras celebrating with parades and fireworks and trips to Copan or Tela, I celebrated in Brazil with a trip to Ipanema. And by wearing my Honduran soccer jersey to school.

Kelly and I went to the beach despite the rainy weather and overcast skies (cabin fever, remember?) and since the beach was empty, it was the perfect opportunity to take pictures with my beloved bandera de Honduras. When I returned home, I Facebook messaged it to a Facebook page, Honduras is Great. Next thing I knew, they had posted it to their Facebook wall. And now I'm an internet sensation. Just kidding.

I did start Facebook chatting with a Honduran who is living here in Rio which is  AWESOME. We chatted about all things Honduras and commiserated together about how there are no baleadas in this country. My catracha heart was so, so full.

It's a beautiful life I'm living where I can combine my love of three very different countries each day. To say that I am blessed is an understatement.

For those of you who are wondering, the Spanish says, "Stories that we love... "I'm not a catracha (a Honduran person) by blood, but I'm a catracha at heart. Now I live in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and I always have Honduras in my heart", these are the words of Caitlin Casavecchia, a young North American who fell in love with Honduras while living with us for two years. A Honduran sister, like many others who were born in other places, shows that the only thing you need to be Honduras is to love this country."

Every Storm Runs Out Of Rain.

And thank goodness they do.

It's been raining for 15 days. We haven't had a day without rain in the entire month of September. I've worn all of my warm clothes at least twice within the past two weeks. This is what Noah must have felt like on the ark.

Since Kelly and I have been plagued with some serious cabin fever, we decided that on Monday (today) we were going to the beach. Rain, shine, snow, hail, whatever. We didn't care. We were going to the beach.

We did. And it was awesome. We saw maaaaaybe 10 other people there the entire time? (Including a man sitting wrapped up in his straight up winter jacket-- hood up and all.) Perfect GoPro opportunities.

Re-doing this gem on a sunny day. It's going to be the money shot.

Also the perfect time for me to practice my handstand. And fail MISERABLY. Haters gonna hate.

After 15 days of gray skies, you'd stop giving a crap with the weatherman says, too...

Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny. And the day after that. And the day after that. I'm almost more excited for a 10 day forecast filled with sunshine than I am Christmas. Judge me, it's been awful.

I See You, DuoLingo.

 So there's this app called DuoLingo that was created to help people learn languages. Great concept, but it hasn't been overly helpful, in my experience. I've acquired/ reinforced a lot of vocabulary, but nothing that I have really found to be helpful.

For example, I'm really good at saying "The ant drinks milk", but, even if my life depended on it, I couldn't say "I feel sick and need to go to the doctor".

Anyways, DuoLingo started getting a little fresh last weekend when having me practice all my pick-up lines.

Now I feel adequately prepared for life in Rio.

As long as I don't get sick.

Life Is Like Riding A Bicycle

... in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving.

Kelly, my roommate, and I were feeling a little cabin fever-ish over the weekend, so we decided to get out and explore Rio in a different way-- by bike. 

So on Saturday we packed up our bike baskets with typical bike riding goodies such as water and a GoPro and headed to the nearest gas station because I needed air in both of my tires. We arrived at the gas station and were quite unsuccessful in inflating the tires. After (what felt like an eternity) of struggling, a gas station attendant came over to help us. He was also unsuccessful and sent us to the next closest gas station. 

Do you realize how hard it is to ride a bike with two flat tires? Rather difficult. Do you know how hard it is to ask the gas station attendant for help inflating your bike tires in Portuguese? Rather difficult and involving a lot of charades. 

So, phew. We're finally all set to go and continue to ride around the Lagoa. All 10.8 kilometers. It was awesome.

On Sundays, one lane of the road is closed along the beach in Leblon/ Ipanema/ Copacabana for people to walk and bike ride and long board and roller skate. For whatever reason, bike riding along Avenida Atlantica has been on my bucket list for forever.

Since we had bicycles, we decided to carpe diem and go on a long bike ride on Sunday. All 13.3 kilometers. It was also awesome, but slightly more painful than Saturday's bike ride.

We also had to ride in the street as opposed to the bike lane a couple of times because Kelly and I can't follow directions. Traffic in Rio is a little... wild and my bike control isn't the best. I may or may not have given myself blisters on my hands from gripping the handlebars so tightly in fear of riding right into a bus. A fear that never came to fruition, thank goodness, but the fear was real.

So Rio, so Carioca. So sore, so fun. 

For The First Time In Forever

Yes, I was absolutely quoting Frozen.

It's no secret that I love Honduras. Within five minutes of meeting me, anyone will know that it's my favorite place on Earth. Which can be really unfortunate when living in countries that are not Honduras and interacting with people who are not Hondurans. For example, living in Rio de Janeiro.

When asked about living in Rio de Janeiro, people back home could tell that I wasn't as happy living in Rio as I was in Honduras. They would ask, I would give short answers that absolutely didn't invite further discussion. "It's nice." "I like it." 

And I felt like a horrible person. Because Rio de Janeiro is an incredible city and the people I have met here are amazing and I was totally selling them short. And I wasn't selling them short for legitimate reasons, I was doing it because I couldn't let go of the past.

I have always felt at peace about moving to Rio de Janeiro. At the beginning, I was rarely happy about it, but I always knew that it was what God wanted me to do. I knew it when I told my Grade 1 students that I wasn't coming back to be their Grade 2 teacher and they said "It's okay. God told Jonah to do something he didn't want to do and he got swallowed by a whale. You don't want to be swallowed by a whale." I knew it when my visa hadn't gone through and the school didn't give up on me. I knew it was the right thing to do, but that didn't mean it was the easy thing to do.

When I arrived in Rio de Janeiro last October, I was miserable. My first words to my new roommates were "Do you have something that I can throw up in?" My days started and ended with tears and trips to the bathroom to throw up. I didn't eat very much and was nauseous all. the. time. I cried to the nurse and I cried to my supervisor. 

I was miserable because I wouldn't let myself love another place. I was miserable because Rio de Janeiro, Brazil wasn't Siguatepeque, Honduras.

I stuck it out, mainly because I was too poor to buy a plane ticket home. I gave myself until Christmas. I would last until Christmas and if I was still miserable, I wouldn't come back in February. 

As they have a tendency to, things got easier. I (thankfully) stopped throwing up. I didn't get nauseous. I didn't cry every day. Christmas came and went, and in February I was on a plane back to Rio. Not only was I on a plane back to Rio, but I was returning with the decision to stay to teach for another school year. 

I decided to return because I had made awesome friends. I decided to return because I really like my school. I decided to return because living in Rio is incredible. I decided to return because I was letting myself love two places, I just didn't realize it yet.

But then I flew to Las Vegas for my sister's wedding and saw a billboard similar to this one in the Atlanta airport. I was a little surprised to realize that seeing it made me a little bit homesick for the city that I had just left. After 12 hours of travel with at least 6 still ahead of me, I assumed that I was homesick for a bed and real food and a bathroom that wasn't the size of a shoe box.

Photo from: DGA Photoshop

Then in Las Vegas, I heard Portuguese everywhere. I heard almost as much Portuguese as I did English and Spanish. Again, I was a little surprised to find myself excited to hear (and understand) Portuguese. Just a few weeks ago, I heard Portuguese in the airport and rolled my eyes. Now all of sudden, I was frantically trying to think of how to tell these strangers that I live in Rio de Janeiro in Portuguese.

Later still, I was walking through the Las Vegas airport and saw this mural of Rio de Janeiro painted by school-age children in Las Vegas.

And seeing that didn't make me scoff and roll my eyes either. It actually made me excited to be boarding a plane back to that very city.

At the risk of sounding like Anna, for the first time in... forever, I realized that I really, truly love Rio de Janeiro. I really, truly love living in Rio de Janeiro.

It took me TEN MONTHS to feel that way. And realizing that took a huge weight off of my shoulders. I do love where I am. I'm happy where I am. I love my school, I love my friends, I love this city. After ten months, I can adequately give Rio the praises that it deserves.

The "keep calm" part is always up for discussion.

Move to Rio de Janeiro? Check.
Live in Rio? Check.
Love Rio? Finally. Check.

Stitch Fix #3: The One That I Had Mailed to Ohio and Brought to Vegas

Before we get started, if you don't know what Stitch Fix is, you're really missing out.

Stitch Fix is a monthly subscription box which sends hand-picked clothing right to your door. No awkward wandering around a store looking for someone to open the dressing room. No passing up items that you think you'll hate, but end up loving once you try it on. (You know it happens). The clothes come right to your door.

Intrigued? You should be. You go to the Stitch Fix website and create a profile. Answer some basic questions about what types of clothes you are looking for, what you feel most comfortable in, what you are trying to avoid, your price points, etc. Basically questions to get to know you and your style. Which is great, especially for someone like me, who has no sense of what their style is. I kind of like to rock the pencil skirt, but I'm BFFs with my yoga pants. Never fear. Based on your style profile, Stitch Fix assigns you a personal stylist who checks out your style and chooses 5 items to send you.

After receiving the box, you have three days to decide what you want to keep and what you want to send back. Want to send something back? No problem. Put it in the included (and pre-paid) return package and drop it in the mail. Easy. Want to keep something? Great! Each box costs a flat rate of $20 for the styling fee-- no questions asked. If you keep something, you can deduct that $20 from the total. If you keep all 5 things, you deduct the $20 styling fee AND get a 25% discount. Nice, right?

(Oh, and if you sign up, you'll get a referral code. If you share your referral code and someone uses it, you get a discount on your next box-- so share the love! If you click on the link above, you'll be using MY referral link!)

When I realized that I was flying to Vegas for my sister's wedding, I went ahead and scheduled my third fix to be mailed to my mom's house and then brought out to Vegas. I might actually have a problem. It's just so fun to receive a box full of clothes that was chosen for you, even if nothing ends up working out.

My note to my stylist, Tamara, was basically the same as it has been from the beginning-- I need summer clothes for hot days in Rio, prints, lightweight material, etc, etc.

I've been telling all my friends in Brazil about my "clothes from a box", so without further ado, my third installment of clothes in a box.

Market and Spruce Jai Dress ($64)

Verdict: Kept, but for the discount

I loved the color of this dress and that was about it. That's not true, it was lined, which is also nice. But my "likes" stop there. Cowl neck anything makes me feel uncomfortable and I'll never wear anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. There was also some rouching at the sides of the dress, right by my hips, which really drew attention to my butt. And no matter how much Kim Kardashian flashes her butt around, I try to keep mine as inconspicuous as possible. Anddd the lining that I actually did enjoy kept getting all wonky underneath the dress and you could see every line. It had to be laying perfectly for the dress to look nice-- ain't nobody got time for that.

Skies are Blue Blythe Tie Neck Knit Tank ($48)

Verdict: Kept

Lightweight. Brightly colored. Interesting detail on the front. Sounds like a recipe for a fun, yet casual shirt in Rio. Come to Mama. I don't know if I'm in love with the lace up front, I feel a bit like a cowgirl or a hooker, but we're going to give it a try.

Loveappella Amanda Twist Back Knit Top ($48) and Gilli Chandler Wide Leg Pant ($38)

Verdict: Kept both!

Sold. Done. No questions asked. Love them separately. Love them together.

The shirt is a basic black, knit shirt with a cute little back detail. I can throw a cardigan over top to make it school appropriate. And who doesn't need a rockin' plain black shirt? I see many fun nights in Rio in this shirt's future.

And the pants? Sigh. I need to get them hemmed a tiiiiiiiny bit so that I don't totally destroy the bottoms. Or trip over them. But they're awesome. Fit great around the waist and I feel great in them.

Le Lis Maude Floral Dress ($78)

Verdict: Kept

I'm obsessed with fit and flare dresses. Would live in them if I could. I almost do, as it is. This material isn't tooooo heavy, but still structured enough to look professional. It's black and white, but my stylist suggested pairing it with a bright colored statement necklace and some bright shoes. Done! And that print? Adore.

So if you've been keeping track-- I kept it all! I'll probably/ definitely sell the Jai dress because it just isn't working for me, but financially it makes more sense to keep it than to send it back. Tamara sent me some basics and some really funky pieces. I love how she incorporates patterns, like I asked, but still sends me somethings outside of my requests. I really didn't want pants, but they're one of my favorite things in this fix!

And speaking of Tamara, she's awesome. I want to be her real life friend. Isn't she precious writing in Portuguese? Seriously-- I'd keep doing Stitch Fix even if I didn't love everything solely because she's so great.