I Am The Greatest Version Of Myself...

...while laughing in the passenger seat of your car.

The majority of my friendship with Karen can be summed up by me riding shotgun in her car while listening to teen pop music, telling ridiculous stories, and laughing just a little bit too loudly.

But the tables were turned just a little bit this Spring Break when SHE CAME TO SPEND THE WEEK WITH ME IN HONDURAS!! I still get excited thinking about it. I cannot stress it enough; it is so, so great having people from home come visit me.

We actually hadn't even planned this trip until it come up in conversation that we had the same Spring Break. Two hours upon having this realization, tickets were bought. Two short weeks later, Karen would be on her way to Honduras. And let me tell you, there are few things greater than thinking you might not see your best friend for at least three months but all of a sudden realizing that you will see her in fourteen days.

I couldn't contain my elation. I was SOOOO happy!

I was so anxious to see Karen. I didn't sleep the night before. All morning I was smiling and screaming about how happy I was. I was in a fantastic mood until I realized that we were running late and she was going to be waiting for us at the airport. At which point I became very cranky. But then I screamed the whole way down the road leading to the airport and jumped out of Cristian's car before it came to a complete stop. And then screamed in the airport when I actually saw her. I regret nothing.

We started off Karen's Honduran adventure with a trip to Denny's. A real Honduran meal, ya know? But then on the way home we go roadside fruit and stopped at my favorite Honduran chair before picking up everyone else and riding in the back of a pickup truck to go get pupusas. Which is far more Honduran than Denny's.

The essence of Honduras.

I'm obsessed with this chair. I'm obsessed with these people.

When in Honduras, do as Honduran do.

Las Cabanas-- a true Honduran meal. 

Day Two was spent at Water Island. Where we ate some of the best fried chicken I have ever consumed. Going to the pool in April will never get old. Going to the pool with my best friend in April will never get old.

We ventured to Comayagua and the creepy playground on Day Three. The church was just as beautiful as always and the town was just as hot. Unfortunately, the playground equipment at the playground is all breaking (shocker, I know), so it's just being more and more of a disappointment. The rickety, old wooden bridge never disappoints though.

Comayagua.

My really photogenic friends.

Things you don't see in Ohio. Ever.

We drove to La Ceiba for the end of the week and spent a day in Cayos Cochinos. It. Was. Beautiful. The 45 minute boat ride was all sorts of painful, but we could not stop laughing. Held some snakes, snorkeled a little, ate some fish, gathered some shells. General beach things. The words "It's so beautiful here" were said no less than 50 times that day.

The two people who know me better than anyone else.

My people.

Welcome to Cayos!

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. I love being in Honduras, but it is SO HARD to be away from everyone in the States. It meant the world to me to have Karen here and show her what my life has been like for the past two years. And, just like it was with my family, saying goodbye was so much harder than I could have imagined. I am so, so grateful for my family and the friends who have stuck with me despite the physical distance I insist on putting between us.

The time together is always wonderful and better than I could ever hope. The goodbyes always bring me to tears. Please come back. :(

Here's To The Good Times, Here's To The Sunshine.

We currently find ourselves in the season of field trips here at CEE. A few weeks ago the older kids went to Copan, this weekend the biggest kids went to Cayos Cochinos, and on Friday my kiddos went to the zoo. Since we are in the season of field trips and beautiful weather, a few of us took an unofficial teacher field trip to the lake this weekend.

After a bit of a late start, Hector, Cristian, Brenna, Nick, Annie, and I were on our way to Pulhapanzak, El Nacimiento, the lake, and Carrizal. Phew, what a day.

But no trip would be complete without about fifteen different stops for various foods to fill our bellies. Which included chicharrones (fried and un-fried), pineapples, coconuts, and oranges. Fast food in Honduras is vastly different from fast food in the States.

Imagine gnawing on that like you would a chicken leg. You now have a brief glimpse into my life.

Our first stop was to Pulhapanzak which is a waterfall that I have been dying to go see ever since arriving in Honduras. It was my lucky day. Allegedly there's also a place to go cliff jumping here, but we couldn't find it/ didn't want to pay to go find it, so we missed out on that opportunity. The views were incredible though! There's something about water that just makes me really happy. Rivers, lakes, small ponds, oceans-- maybe I'm part mermaid. Regardless of the cause, I'm pretty sure I was walking around with a perma-smile. Couple that with the sweat that was pouring down my face and I was a real sight to behold.

See what I mean?!

My best friends.

If there's one thing I cannot do, it's be in a picture alone.

Teacher Field Trip 2014

After Pulhapnzak, Annie, Brenna, and I decided to aprovechar the truck bed and the fact that it was an incredibly sunny day and rode to El Nacimiento in the back of the truck. Girls gotta tan somehow, ya feel me? We stopped to buy some roadside oranges and I have never felt more Honduran than I did sitting in the back of the truck, hair whipping all around my face, eating an orange. Cue that perma-smile.

Stop.

Pure Catracha.

We went to El Nacimiento again this year to swim in some crystal clear, freezing water. I also wanted to conquer that darn rope swing. But I didn't. Sigh. Instead, Brenna, Annie, and I all assigned ourselves a category and rated the guys' jumps on things like distance, splash size, and presentation. And we fished. Without poles. But we used the leftover chicharron for bait. So there's that.

As am I still undecided as to where I am going to be next year, I've compiled a list of all the things I want to do while in Honduras. Some of them grander and more exciting (like go to Utila), some less thrilling (like taking my picture with this giant Honduran chair). Its just so bright and cheery and Honduran. I also may have made everyone pose for one too many pictures throughout the day. Sorry not sorry.

"Do we have to?" "Yes, I'm the princess."

I've given fish a good, honest effort. I truly have. But I just don't like it. To me, all fish taste the way that Lake Erie smells. And, don't get me wrong, I love Lake Erie as much (if not more) than the next person. But I do not always love the way it smells. I had a fish at the lake last year that tasted like chicken, that's the kind of fish I could get into. But I digress. As a white population, we tend to go to a restaurant on the lake called Rancho Bella Vista because it's slightly more upscale. Thus the prices are slightly more upscale. Cristian and Hector adamantly protested against Rancho Bella Vista today and my wallet agreed with them. We ended up at one of the many lake restaurants where I think I was served half a chicken. And I couldn't stop staring at the lake. As in, open mouthed stare. Look at those colors! Beautiful.

One would think our day was over after so many adventures. One would be wrong. Our last stop was at Hector's property in Carrizal where, unfortunately, no poisonous snakes were to be found and no bananas needed chopped. Our ride home was made slightly more exciting when we got a flat tire.What can I say? Life is never dull.

We rounded out our day by seeing a snake on a leash. I'm talking a 5 foot long snake on a LEASH. It was fascinating until they wanted to throw it at the gringas who, if you recall, are sitting unprotected in the back of a pickup truck. It did leave me with so many questions though. Was it poisonous? How did it get on the leash? What are they going to do with it when they take it off the leash? Did they find it in Sigua? Do I need to be worried about other 5 foot long snakes slithering into my school? Is it your pet? What do you feed it?

If I had a dollar for every time I said some variation of "It's so beautiful!" today, I would have easily had $100. I can't stop saying it, this is a beautiful country.

And so to recap...

Waterfall hiking. Rope swinging. Pole-less fishing. Truck bed riding. Orange eating. Hair blowing. Giant chair sitting. Tire popping. Snake on a leash spotting.

Phew, Honduras. I didn't even know you had it in you.

I Was Born And Raised Here.

I got it made here. 

As with any big event, I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember where I was when I found out. I remember the emotions that went through me. I remember where I was when I actually realized what had happened.

I was completing my fourth week of student teaching at OLM in Rio de Janiero, Brazil and had just begun packing up to go to lunch. My roommate walked in my classroom, just as she did every day, so that we could walk to lunch together. But that day she asked if I had ever heard of a town named Chardon. Of course I had, I grew up there. My heart would forever left in that sleepy, little town. 

I knew something was wrong just by looking at her eyes. And I nervously laughed when she told me that there was a shooting at the high school. I accidentally left my cell phone at home that day and thought that I could make it through the rest of the day without going home to get it.

Fast forward twenty minutes and I realized mid-bite that I HAD to go home and get my cell phone. I didn't have any messages. Nor could I get a hold of my mother, father, brother, or sister. (I hadn't discovered the magic that is MagicJack yet, so I was relying solely on texting.) Where were they? Was my brother okay? What in the world was happening?

I called my best friend and hysterically asked him to call my parents or my siblings and then call me back as soon as he knew everything. He called me back at about the same time as I received texts from my parents. My brother was okay, everyone was okay.

Two years later and I'm not sure that everyone is okay. Physically? Yes. Emotionally? Doubtful. 

CBS' 60 Minutes aired a special about the shooting and Coach Hall tonight. I sat on my coffee table and sobbed. I sobbed to see the snowy streets of the town that will always be my home. I sobbed when I saw my teachers, my school, the hallways that I walked down every single day. I sobbed when I saw my brother. I sobbed when they showed Coach Hall's first Lakeside versus Chardon football game where the Chardon students rolled out a "We Love You, Coach Hall" sign.

It's likely that I will be posting about this every February 27th from now on. But it's worth repeating.

That's my town. Those are my teachers. That's my family.

And while my mailing address might currently be Siguatepeque, Honduras, but home will always be in Chardon, Ohio. To show their support for their favorite English teacher and the town that raised her, Grade 1 and 2 came to school sportin' their red on February 27.

Two towns. One heartbeat.

Whichever I Choose, There Will Be Regrets

Life is hard.

Having to be responsible for your own actions and decisions is hard.

At this moment in time, I want someone to make decisions for me. If I had someone to make decisions for me, I could blame them when things all fall apart. Or for when I doubt my decision.

But that isn't the way that life works. I have to make my own decisions. When things fall apart, I'm the one to blame. And when I doubt my decision-- that's all on me.

We're quickly approaching the time of year where I have to decide where I want to go and what I want to do with my life for the next school year. And honestly? I'm so torn. Do I stay? Do I go to the States? Do I go to an entirely different country? 

I don't have any idea. And no one is here to make the decision for me.

While browsing Twitter a few weeks ago, I saw that someone had tweeted Jason Aldean's lyrics that say "Whichever I choose, there will be regrets." Which is exactly how I feel. No matter which decision I make, I will have regrets. No matter where I end up, my heart will be longing to be somewhere else.

Upon further investigation, I found that the lyrics came from the song "Keep The Girl" which is very clearly about a boyfriend and a girlfriend. But being the self-centered individual that I am, I applied it to my own life. Let's take a gander now, shall we?

This life is full of choices. Hard to make one, all the voices in my head. I feel like this is pretty clear.
Those blue eyes I'm in love with? Substitute "brown eyes" for "blue eyes" and I picture my 48 Honduran babies who look at me every day with hunger to learn and be loved. Who would be so hard to leave behind.
Or that highway? The one that would take me somewhere else.
Which ever I pick, there'll be regrets. Are you beginning to see where I'm going with this?

I go one way, I lose everything. If I leave, I leave behind everyone I've come to know and love.
I go the other way, same thing. If I stay here, I'm taking more and more steps away from my life in the States.

I'm torn and it's tearing me apart. 
I want to go, but I don't want to break her heart. I'm the "her" in this situation. Going will actually break my heart.
Like a sword with a double edge blade, it's gonna cut deep either way.
This little town, that big old world. My little Sigua? Or new adventure in that big, old world?
Chase the dream or keep the girl? Do I chase my dream of teaching internationally? Or do I protect myself mentally and emotionally and go back to the States?

While (I feel) the song very clearly mirrors my own feelings and this stage of life that I am currently in, listening to it 500 times on repeat doesn't change my predicament. I still need to make my own decision.

I'm torn. And it's tearing me apart. Whichever I choose, I know that there will be regrets. 

"Meesss, It's The Day Of Loooooooove!"

That was their words, not mine. Just to clear things up. 

I like to see my boys squirm and nothing makes them squirm more than hugs, hearts, and the color pink. So I made sure that February was chock full of all things Valentine's Day. Including, but not limited to, our bulletin board...

...our Spelling activities...

...and our Reading Buddies crafts. 

The big day finally arrived and since I'm a heartless teacher, I made my kids take a Spelling test before diving into the Valentine's Day activities. I regret nothing.

In Grade Two, the kids traced their hands on some construction paper, accordion folded a strip in between, and wrote "I love you this much!" on a pretty pink heart. Nailed it. Way to go, love bugs.

I also busted them sharing the love at snack time. They pooled their snacks together to create an entirely new snack-- chocolate pudding and cheese whiz on a tortilla chip. I taste tested, it wasn't great.

Grade One voted on Thursday what they wanted to do during their party. They were able to choose from making a tree out of their hands and then using hearts for the leaves, making a monkey with accordion arms and legs, or making animals out of hearts. The animals out of hearts won and I spent all of Thursday evening designing heart animals, printing hearts, sorting hearts, and making examples. Phew.

They did great! It's hard for me to give up control because I want their things to look perfect, but I also have to remember that they're 6 and not always able to cut on a perfect line. It's okay, the world will not end. We do have a good system of cutting, gluing, and throwing away that we've been working on all year. They're old pros at it now and it definitely make things run so much smoother. Which is one less worry for their poor, control freak of a teacher.

And then I spent some time after school with my brown eyed girls. 

I had 48 Valentines this year, and then some. How did I ever get this lucky?